Discovery Period

When I was a child, I used to be able to look at the world as if standing on the precipice of endless possibilities.  If I was afraid I would imagine, visualize and feel an unphasable skin of titanium wash over my body, as if a colossus like invincibility existed within me.  If I was confused I had an uncanny talent for removing myself from a situation and seeing the details that would explain the inner workings that would lead to the consequence before it unfolded.  I calculated everything, I knew everything, and everything had a reason for happening.  I was invincible.  I was a child.

Over the years, however, I have had a handful of experiences slap me in the face with a harsh education.  It was the kind of education that you can only learn from age and mistakes.   I know I don’t have a metal skin that will protect me from the physical dangers of life. However, I still hold onto one talent from my youth. I still like to see the areas that I need to improve in order to reach my goals.  I understand how to get things done, and what is keeping me from achieving my goals.

FLASH FORWARD INTO THE PRESENT:

So after having had the pleasure of being laid off twice within a 1 year span, I am in the position to really step back and figure out what I want to do.  It may sound odd, and I challenge you to reflect on this yourself, but the last time I stopped to think about what I want was back in high school. That is over 7 years ago at the time I’m writing this.

After being laid off the first time, I was in survival mode, and simply took the first job that would allow me to maintain a relatively similar salary to my previous position.  I remember speaking with some friends about it on Facebook, and commenting that in the grand scheme of things, “people just need to remember happiness is not everything.”  I simply needed a job.  I quickly discovered money is not everything.  I was an inbound sales executive, and while I exceled, I knew it was not my dream job.

 

So almost a year later I was pulled into a room and told that my position would be moving to a new geography.  A blessing in its own way. My call center job played its part and I developed some valuable skills, and life lessons, and I know now that a job needs to be more than a job, and there is a distinct difference between a career and a job.

I am a writer, and I help create better and more efficient ways of doing things.  I take pride in not specializing in any one thing, and being able to float between skills.  I help people live better lives whether they are at the low point of their life or a member of the so called 1% elite.  I care, and I work hard, but this does not mean I deserve without action (an understanding that I think my generation lacks comprehension).  Now notice, I am no longer a marketer or a sales person or a project manager.

These are things I am still discovering.  Who am I? What do I want to do with my life?  I don’t know, but I am in the process of discovering the answers, and I am starting to find my roots once again.  I believe I know what I want. Now I just need to learn how to survive in a way that will allow me to reach that final outcome that I previously explained I have a knack for finding out how to achieve it.

Pre-Log

On this beautifully cloudy Friday afternoon, I am finally working up the ambition to recollect what creativity is still mustering in the depths of my imagination.

See, in my younger years (which I say lightly as I am currently only in my mid-20's) my eyes swelled with the pride of a philosopher that would someday author the world's next great literary piece.  I had a vision of touching people's lives, not in the pursuit of riches, but in the mission of bringing clarity to happiness.

And then I found my path straying from what I had always planned.

I left my small town, actually more prone to refer to it as a village, and journeyed nine hours east to Indiana.  I had a year to transition to the different moods, mentalities, and cultural subtleties that were unfamiliar to my life back in small town Minnesota.  And trust me if you wish to say all people are inherently the same, it is not true. People in one region simply do not act or think in the same way as people in another, completely dissolving any notion I will ever have of what a normal person's life should be.

I have now been living in some region of Indiana for the last seven years at the time I am writing this dialogue.
One year of high school followed by four years of college and two more in the professional work force as a Marketing Analyst.

College was a bittersweet experience brought on from my own naïve perceptions and beliefs about education.  My freshman year I was on the verge of failing out of school as I habitually skipped class despite getting perfect scores on tests.  Coupled with the fact that I was attending a school that I really couldn't afford, I found my optimism, creativity, and general excitement to change the world slowly begin to dwindle.

Over these four years I dabbled in philosophies, creative writing, religion and psychology majors before finally landing in communications and marketing.  I had lost my vision of becoming the world's next great author, and my confidence began shrinking as I noticed that I truly celebrated a life of mediocrity.  Don't get me wrong, I am good at what I do, but I was unclear about what I did.  I still believed that my perspective on life and farm-grown hard work gave me an edge over my classmates, but by the time I graduated my creativity had been expunged on the realities of being broke and without a plan.

My one saving grace of college was meeting my now wife.  After a year of losing control of my grades, she set me straight and gave me something worth working towards once again.

Because of her I was able to straighten out my life, and grow up a bit. I was fortunate enough to acquire a great job right out of college working as a marketing project manager for comScore, Inc. Shortly after I felt that I had a stable lifestyle, I finally asked her to marry me after four and a half years of having her in my life.

And that brings us back to now; a moment when clarity seems to finally be regenerating my creativity and imagination.

My past has become a learning experience of celebrated mediocrity.  I am by no means an expert in any single path of skill, but I tout a broad understanding of skills. I believe that it is important to understand the various elements that affect your life, and therefore, I believe in not specializing in any single one thing.  Combined with my farm-boy upbringing, I believe you do everything right the first time so rather than producing a shoddy piece of work quickly, I face longer time frames with a better outcome.  I have no problem looking at something I want and saying I will have it in one year... no sooner!

And thus my project begins.  In the beginning, this blog will be scattered, perhaps visually distorted, containing typos (I do know how to spell so I apologize if an occasional taht slips in place of that... but in elementary school we learn about contextual reference, and so I trust your will understand what I am saying)

This blog is simply a dialogue among the many divided interests I have in life, and a reflection of how I perceive my world to be.  I invite you (when I get it setup, and so long as they are intelligent) to leave your comments, and help me to grow as an individual.

I am a writer, a designer, a developer, an artist, a videographer, a photographer, a marketer, a gamer, a reader, a wood worker, an appreciator of a good drink, a film enthusiast, a family man and a husband.